Well, here we are on day 5 of holiday homeschool open house, hosted by Tiany at www.homeschoolblogger/Tiany. I took the day off the computer yesterday to pray for my daughter Robyn and her youth group, as they meet the next 2 Friday's to discuss strongholds. I am wishing I was in the youth group, though I am not sure I want to relive my teen years again. They were not very happy at times.
You know, I haven't thought of a good post for today. We were supposed to do crafts this week, but no one wanted to. I plan things and often times, I get sidetracked and don't do them. I am very tired right now, and just tired of struggling. I am so fed up with the whole mess that Christmas has become. The whole "buy, buy, buy, gimme, gimme, gimme, don't say Merry Christmas to me, do more, spend more fiasco. What ever happened to...hmm, what is his name again? JESUS!!
I admit I am finding myself jammed into the whole Christmas machine. I have not started my Christmas shopping for my kids and dh, as so many outside of my family need to be taken care of first.
We do Santa in our home, something I have dreaded since I had kids, but my dh insisted we did the whole Santa thing. And this is not to offend anyone who gets a big kick out of celebrating Santa, if you do, that is terrific! I grew up celebrating Santa, and feeling sick to my stomach each time my mom said I wasn't good enough and Santa wouldn't come. I lay awake for days dreading Christmas morning. I was so relieved when I rushed downstairs to see that Santa had spared me this year and had come! Then I couldn't eat the rest of the day as my nerves were shot. When I found out the truth about Santa, I felt so betrayed!! I felt like my parents had done nothing but lied to me. And the fact that they scared me so much about Santa not coming, it really made an impact on me. Now, I am sure not all families are like this, I certainly hope not any way! Once again, Christmas is about JESUS, and I sure would have liked a whole lot more of Him at Christmas instead of Santa. So, we do Santa here, but I rarely mention him unless Devin brings it up. When we go to the mall and Santa happens to be there, if Devin wants to go see him that is fine. If he screams and cries about it, I don't force him to do it.
This is the first year in quite some time that I am trying harder to focus on Jesus. The past few years I have been busy with soapmaking and doing for others that I have pushed aside Jesus and me, and my relationship with him. How on earth would I feel if it was my birthday and my family decided to celebrate every one else BUT me? I often take it for granted that Jesus is the most precious gift to me, thinking to myself that Jesus knows how I feel about him, so I don't need to show it really. But I do!! And I want to! And here I am again, stuck on who I have to buy for and what I have to do, and how will my in laws feel about not getting anything expensive this year.
I suppose Christmas has always been a time of busyness for my family. Growing up in the flower shop business, we didn't have time to go to church at Christmas, as we were busy filling orders and delivering. Growing up without my dad from the time I was 13 meant looking after my brother and sister, and having no one to take me to church anymore. And I feel terrible that I am not much different now, immersing myself in busyness, running in circles and trying to keep up with everyone else.
At any rate, I know I am rambling as I am very tired today, and I don't think I have said what I really want to, or even figured it out. All I know is, I want this year to be different. I can already feel myself getting pulled into that whirlpool of materialism and commercialism. I am trusting that Jesus will throw me out a line and pull me back in!
I'm sorry this is not very uplifting today. I may go ahead and delete it later. If it makes sense to anyone, please let me know! I am being totally transparent here, and likely hanging myself out to dry!
It's okay that you pour yourself out....we need to be transparent sometimes...and a blog is the perfect place.
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't worry about your in-law...give them something from "your heart"...what they choose to do with it, is up to them...you are only accountable for "you"....enjoy the process of either buying them something or making it...afterall it comes down to "the heart".
I do not allow myself to get stressed about the gifts...I take one day (all day) and get most of the shopping done. I leave in the morning and do not come home until the evening...I just spend the day alone...I have lunch out...a coffee break...people watching while sipping on my java....this is my time to enjoy shopping for my children. I do shop throughout the year, but get the "special things" on the lists the kids have made. I do not spend a lot...but will buy one special item and the rest is fillers that I think they will like.
We are doing Advent right now...started Dec 1 and wow has that ever been awesome for our family...my kids can hardly wait for the next day....you might want to try that...it's not too late.
I will be praying for you.
Connie
Sorry I should have read the post before sending it....I wanted to say that you should take one day for yourself to shop alone...make it special for yourself...I do not know if that's possible for you,
ReplyDeletebut maybe you could give it a try:-)
Please try to get some rest. I get sick, when I'm stressed. Therefore, I take one day at a time. I share my worries with my dh.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with you about Santa. We should focus on Jesus, not on some man in a red suit. A family member persuaded me that it was best for my kids to believe in Santa. I regret it, because I feel like I lied to them.
http://dailyreminders4me.blogspot.com/2007/12/welcome-december.html
I totally understand what you are saying. A lot of people get so caught up in the commercialism of Christmas, that they forget the real reason we have Christmas in the first place. We have never done Santa with our children, but I know some people do. That is their choice and I don't condemn them for that.
ReplyDeleteTry and relax. You will be no good to yourself or your family if you are all stressed out and sick over Christmas.
If youwant to give your inlaws something "from the heart" then do it. Once it is given, there is really nothing else you can do. I have given things to people before knowing that they wouldn't use it, but it was something that I wanted to give them. Did it bother me, a little, but it was given from the heart.
I hope you have a blessed day!
Your Secret Sister
You are so right. I think many people forget about the true meaning of Christmas. Sure, 'tis the season for giving, but...
ReplyDeleteMy mother-in-law was going on about stamps the other day. She was sending out her Christmas cards and kept talking about how she had to decide between the cute festive stamps with the adorable reindeer on them or the one with Mary, Joseph and the Baby Jesus. She then said, "The reindeer are cute, but we're all forgetting about the real reason for Christmas here!"
LOL! She made such a 'to do' about the whole thing. It was kind of cute, actually.
Anyway, bottom line is: I know how you feel! :) Christmas (or the weeks leading up to Christmas with all the preparations) can be stressful and hectic. Oh, and as much fun as spending time with the entire family can be, there's always some kind of drama in our family! It's to be expected though and that's what makes the holidays special. LOL!!
I hear you on the Santa thing. We celebrated that way when we were kids. We still do. I just remember feeling like you did when an aunt or an uncle would say that Santa only gives gifts to good little boys and good little girls. I'd always worry about every little argument I had with my brother or not doing something my parents asked me to do. LOL! It's stressful!
Anyway, we always had the best Christmas celebrations. I come from a very tight-knit family. Lots of carols, a big Christmas dinner, going to church, then waiting for Santa to come and give us our gifts. LOL....church, the birth of Jesus...and then Santa??? LOL! I never understood that! I guess as a child, I never asked questions about why a big, jolly man with a white beard came to all the kids' houses all over the world in one night and brought them presents (on the same night that Christ was born). No. I only asked those questions when I got older.
*sigh* This is SUCH a LONG comment! I should have saved it for an e-mail! Alrighty...I need to get to sleep! TTYL!
Hope you are feeling better about things and hopefully you get some rest :) xo