I apologize for no breaks in between paragraphs, Blogger is not letting me fix that!
This week I have been really grumpy and complained a lot. Everything at the moment seems so big. The biggest issue is our son Jeremy, who has a raging dental infection. He has been in agony for a week now, with little relief. He has a root canal that was done 5 years ago which is sound, but the dentist ( in Ontario) did not get all the infection out. He is going to a specialist tomorrow to get it redone, which is going to cost us over $1100.00 which we do not have. Where God guides, He provides though, right?
This week I have been really grumpy and complained a lot. Everything at the moment seems so big. The biggest issue is our son Jeremy, who has a raging dental infection. He has been in agony for a week now, with little relief. He has a root canal that was done 5 years ago which is sound, but the dentist ( in Ontario) did not get all the infection out. He is going to a specialist tomorrow to get it redone, which is going to cost us over $1100.00 which we do not have. Where God guides, He provides though, right?
Jeremy has a paper route and we usually do it together, but, I didn't want him walking all over the place lugging the papers and flyers today when he is so unwell - we have roughly 400 - So what did I do? I said I would do them for him on my own. ( and I did actually say that without grumbling!) And I will tell you this...I am not ever going to suggest that again. Mike ( my dh) helped me out with the driving bits and walked one route. I did the rest. It is true...I am insane. I could have done some today and some tomorrow. But noooo, not me. I am stubborn, and I was doing it all today.
First of all, I forgot my lunch and had to come back home. Then, when I got to the spot I usually start, which is in a tiny neighbourhood with teeny weeny lanes, a hydro truck was blocking the lane, so I had to drive around, and then around again, as someone was pulling out of another lane. I grumbled. I got that part done, grumbled at Mike, and then started another street before grabbing my lunch. Off I went again, to be greeted at the end of a street by a nasty dog and two people yelling at me that they did not want the flyers. Well, when someone is snotty with me...they sometimes get a whole lot of snotty right back. I bit my lip and carried on, seething inside and by this time, my hips were aching really badly. That is partly due to my karate training...if the sensei could barely walk because she had done her hips in by doing karate, I really should have paid closer attention to that! I got back to the van, and called Mike complaining about these grumpy people, people who live in huge homes with 5000 stairs, dandelions, weather, the van, I was tired, pot holes, dentists, you name it. I must tell you, some people can be so incredibly rude and nasty who do not want to get the papers. Today it got to me. How dare those people grumble at me when I had done nothing wrong!
Then I stopped and thought about my own attitude and how I was doing to God what these people did to me, and I was grumbling constantly about this stuff instead of making the best of it and letting my light shine. And being thankful and content for all the things that God has entrusted to me. I did pray this morning that God would show me the joy in some of the stuff we are dealing with. So what better spot to start than these papers! Darn it, I was going to be joyful and content!
So, I apologized for my attitude, prayed for those people, and started fresh. A rather strange man appeared out of nowhere and asked me how to get a paper route. Wow, that was not the right time to ask me that, but I gave him a paper and a number to call and nearly gave him my paper bag as well! That picked me up. Then, an elderly man drove by me and honked and waved, and smiled at me. I noticed the flowers, and heard the bees buzzing around them, and I was getting hot, but a breeze came up.
I got to one house where a man was working outside and asked if he wanted the paper, as he tended to let them pile up at times. He was so nice, and I told him that some people really prefer to yell at me about the papers, and he said, "I would never yell at you!" If my legs hadn't hurt so bad, I would have skipped and hopped the rest of the route! God and I joked around about things and laughed. Yes, I totally think God loves to laugh with us, and He and I did some of that today!
I got to one house where a man was working outside and asked if he wanted the paper, as he tended to let them pile up at times. He was so nice, and I told him that some people really prefer to yell at me about the papers, and he said, "I would never yell at you!" If my legs hadn't hurt so bad, I would have skipped and hopped the rest of the route! God and I joked around about things and laughed. Yes, I totally think God loves to laugh with us, and He and I did some of that today!
I made faces at all the dogs that stood at their windows barking at me, and laughed. Which was all well and good when they were chihuahuas and poodles. I don't think the doberman was thrilled. I did find I could still run after all.
I picked violets, and marvelled at one I saw growing in the crack of the pavement. That was just like me, God told me. Something beautiful and delicate, yet managing to blossom and grow in a seemingly impossible and difficult spot.
And don't hate me for this, but one thing I got a huge kick out of was, lobbing the papers onto porches when the people's cats are sitting there. Of course, I don't hit them, I just like to see them take off like a shot!
Mike called to encourage me at one point, I just got back to the van after running out of papers part way through. I had lapsed back into "How can you be so happy when my legs are falling off, I have blisters, I can't breathe, my head hurts and I am now sunburned?" I wanted to hear, "You poor baby". I almost missed it when he told me what a great mom I am, and how much he loves me - almost missed the blessing God was giving me.
Mike called to encourage me at one point, I just got back to the van after running out of papers part way through. I had lapsed back into "How can you be so happy when my legs are falling off, I have blisters, I can't breathe, my head hurts and I am now sunburned?" I wanted to hear, "You poor baby". I almost missed it when he told me what a great mom I am, and how much he loves me - almost missed the blessing God was giving me.
At my last street, I got it together again. Until I saw that hydro truck had taken the spot I usually parked at. If you have ever seen Mr. Bean, it was almost like that blue truck with 3 wheels that kept tormenting Mr. Bean everywhere he went. I don't know how many people saw me waddling and limping down the road at this point, though I almost fell down the steps at a house in front of an elderly woman!
I did learn lessons today, I was blessed today, God showed me that I need to be thankful and content with what I have and that He will walk with me, and I just need to be quiet and listen to Him before I get all worked up and make things harder. This of course, is something I really struggle with and need to always work on. I am so thankful that God is here to walk it out with me!
