Well, here I am, a bit more awake and with it this morning. I don't really recall much of yesterday... but apparantly, I looked something like this....... Please note, this was not taken yesterday, and the person who took this picture, has been flogged 300 times with a wet noodle.......
Really, I am not that scary. However, the fact that my kids saw me that way, is not really a problem. The problem is, I walked off an elevator looking like that. I also sat in the dentist's waiting room like that, and in walked a cute young guy who works for my husband! Ack!!! I did say something to him, though I don't know what. Oh goodness.......
This, is more like what I really look like, this is me with my oldest son.......not quite so scary!!
I am phobic of the dentist. It has turned into an extreme fear, and it has controlled my life for a number of years. This stems from experiences from my childhhod, such as having two molars pulled with no freezing in an office with a 150 year old dentist who had no assistant, and knew little of dental practices past the caveman era.
Later, I found that freezing wasn't working at all. Every appointment was torture, and miraculously, they always found something wrong with me....
The last dentist I saw ( I will remember him as Mr. Moneybags) has messed up my mouth, and it is going to cost almost $7000.00 to fix it. That doesn't include the two wisdom teeth I require oral surgery for as they are pushing into my teeth sideways... I am astounded, as I take very good care of my teeth, but the fact that I have been too scared to go, plus the cost which I cannot afford, has put me off. And now I have to go and get problems fixed, which is to the tune of two root canals, and 5 crowns. The last dentist was ripping me off and I didn't know it at the time. $4000.00 for 2 crowns!!!! At the new dentist, it is $650.00 per crown, still way over my budget, but not like this other guy! I have only one new cavity in the 10 years it has been ( being brutally honest here) since I saw a dentist, the rest will be repairing what the other one did or didn't do.
And get this... the other one knocked me out with general anaesthetic for 5 1/2 hours to do one root canal, and guess what?? It only takes an hour or so! Cha ching.........
So, I decided I needed to get my mouth in order again, as I have been having some pain. And I have found out it is true, that if you leave a little problem, it will become huge. In March, I needed a small filling, that would take 15 minutes to fix. I now need a root canal, and over $600.00!! Yet, this overwhelming fear loomed over me, and still does.
So, I can't afford a general anaesethetic, but I could afford the "wonky pills" and my drug plan covers those. Very sceptically, and very reluctantly, I tried it yesterday. I took the pills in the office, as I was not sure how I would be in front of the kids.
First, before I could get sedated, they froze my tooth. Well, I had a panic attack and started crying and crying. The dentist ( Dr. Gelfand) looked me in the eye and tod me that I ( me) was the boss, and I had total control. If I wanted him to stop, I could put my hand up, and he would finish and I would go home. Tina, the assistant, held my hand and rubbed my back for me. It really didn't hurt as much as I thought.
I then had to wait in reception for the pills to work. As I sat there, I looked at the topiary tree, and the bottom ball of the tree started moving up and down. My head started feeling odd. I was laughing at things that really, no one else was!! Finally, once I was cooked enough, Tina took me back, with my sea legs.
Well, another panic attack, because while I was there I was conscious and knew what was going on, but I just wanted them to get on with it. They were working on a tooth which was already canaled and I couldn't afford the crown for, which I will have to now. The dentist was apparantly stunned, as the other guy ( Mr. Moneybags) put a teeny tiny post in, and the only thing holding it in was my old filling!! So I now have a big huge one in there. I recall feeling things, but nothing that hurt. I have no idea how long it took, but after, I apparantly cried and cried. I don't remember that. I did hug Tina, and had to sit and wait for dh to pay. All the while looking like the first photo at the top!!
I was told to take the elevator, which I got into on my own power, and then smashed my forehead againts the back wall. I hope no one else was on it with us! Mike poured me into the van, if any of you have ever seen Hyacinth Bucket in the British series "Keeping Up Appearances" when she has had too much gooseberry wine at an estate auction, well, that was me!!
I made my dh drive through Dairy Queen for a strawberry shake. (He, bless his heart, stayed with me the whole time, some people will do anything to get off work!!) When I got home, my kids were laughing at me, but I scared my littlest sweetie at first!! I got helped to my bedroom, all the while saying I wasn't tired. Mike went to put my shake in the freezer and I yelled at him "where is my milkshake??" While finishing it off, I got a strawberry jammed in the straw, and couldn't get it out, but I couldn't eat it either as my mouth was frozen. I recall nothing of this. I went to sleep at 3:00 and I woke up at 6:30. I could have slept longer, but I wouldn't sleep at night if I did.
And here I am! I survived!! I am still scared though. The other big difference is, I asked Jesus to be in that chair with me yesterday, and prayed my heart out to Him, and He was with me, even though I felt very scared. This time, I was scared, but knew He was right there holding me, what a difference that made! He cared enough about me, to do that, even though it is such a crazy thing for me to feel that way. I am so thankful that nothing is too small or too weird for Him to not care about. We are trusting Him to provide the money for this all too, as we have no means of getting that together right now. Thankfully, they did bend a bit on paying for Jeremy's work this coming Monday.
Whew, that was long!!!
