Offers and other adventures

Well. Hmm, interesting events in our house this past week. First of all, we had our first offer last week. Their agent was the rudest person I have come across in a long time. The first words out of his mouth were, "No offense, but I didn't want them to buy your house, I had another one I wanted for them, but they liked yours, so what can you do?" That did not endear me to him. Then, he told me his clients are spacey and flighty. Uhh, not doing spacey and flighty, sorry. Their offer was wayyy low. I mean, incredibly so. So we didn't even counter offer. They also wanted all my appliances including my microwave, and had a stupid clause in regarding the home inspection that no one could live up to. When my agent told him no, and she was talking to him outside the building, I could hear him yelling at her. He told her we wasted his time, and threw his stuff in the car and left. So we start again.

I ended up sick over this. I took the kids to the cottage, and that night, I had a panic attack. I felt like I was going to die, I was shaking, crying, scared beyond scared, and felt sick to my stomach which made me even more freaked out. I suffer from irritable bowel syndrome, and it has flared up big time this past week or so. It has been awful. I drove the kids home first thing Thursday moring, I felt so sick it wasn't even funny. I was panicking and scared out of my mind. I have never felt this awful before. Yes, I am a worry wart, but this was extreme.

I got to the doctor that night, and broke down, and he told me this is stress and my body can no longer deal with it well, as I am so worn down and tired and well, stressed! I am healthy apart from this, but this episode had me wondering! So I have a prescription for Xanax ( a generic form) to take when I feel like things are getting out of hand, but it is only for the short term. My doctor is wonderful, and he is a Christian, and he told me this amount of stress would put a normal person over the edge.

I thought it would help me feel better, and while I know that there is not a thing wrong with me, aside from the stress and IBS, I am still finding myself very stressed and unsure. Which is making me feel icky. This is such a huge thing for me, and I just am not sure I am strong enough to do it any longer. I will hopefully have a big announcement though, on the weekend! I am not at liberty to say yet, but just put on your thinking caps and you can guess what it is! No, I am not pregnant, though it would be nice to eat more than rice, eggs and toast, I cannot bring myslef to eat anything, my stomach is unsettled still, but getting better. And the one thing I can stand to eat, chocolate, I am not allowed to!

I feel so guilty being a Christian and allowing this to escalate like this, especially since He has been taking such great care of us. I feel like a total failure.

If anyone has had experience with panic attacks and so on, please let me know about it, and if it will ever get better!! Right now I am just trying to cling to My Daddy!!! Night time is just the worst part, I miss my dh so much, I truly do not think I can take much more of this. The reality of moving from my family and friends is setting in, and I am just so upset about this whole thing, that I wonder why on earth I thought I could do this. I am doing it because I know God is leading us to do it, but I am just wondering how much more I can stand.