Struggling

Well, it was a whirlwind visit with dh and he is now at the airport waiting to go back, and my heart is breaking into a gazillion pieces. I don't know how much longer I can hold it together, but with God, I can do anything, right? Why do I feel so weak then? I even had a word from God today telling me He is in control and He is here with me now, and still I fuss, fume, and have cried all day. My poor dh, he feels so awful. I am so selfish. Incredibly small, selfish and weak. I am not in control at all, and I am struggling. yep, I am a control freak! Yet, at the same time, I am still very excited and so thankful for this journey to a new home in Nova Scotia. Am I insane?? I whined all day about what a bad idea this was. I whined about giving up and quitting. But still, I know in my heart that this is the right thing. Maybe I should just stop whining and feeling sorry for myself and thinking about someone else.

Here are some ways God has blessed me this weekend....

1. He sent His precious Son to die for me, all my warts, complaints, gripes and all!
2. I have been praying that God will keep us healthy while Mike is away. Selfishly, especially me, as I have to take care of everyone. Well, this week the kids got colds. On Friday night, I had the worst stomach cramps and felt awful. One thing I cannot deal with well is any kind of stomach trouble like that. And wasn't God good to send my dh home to take care of me? I still don't feel well. I don't know if this is a bug or something I ate.

We had to go out to lunch with Mike's family yesterday, and I got through it but couldn't eat anything. I had to leave and sit in the car to get some air, but thankfully they all understood. Now I also have a cold coming on and I feel terrible. But I had my dh's arms around me and he held me all night long the first night of the creeping crud! Thank You God!

3. I felt like death warmed over on Friday night and we had to be out of the house at 9:15 Saturday morning for a showing. I was certain that I was going to be stuck in bed, but I woke up feeling not too badly. It wasn't until after the showings that I started feeling sick again. I managed to get my hair chopped and it is all spiky now. The blessing there...my hair stylist walked in at the very moment I got in, and did my hair so fast that I was on time to pick Robyn up for her riding lesson! Thank You Dad!

4. Mike had to fix our tap in our downstairs bathroom. Well, it didn't work as he planned and we made it to Home Depot within minutes of it closing. We got the help and materials we needed, ran to the checkout, only to realize, he left his wallet in the dresser!! We had to turn all the water off in the house, so we begged and grovelled for our meager lives with the powers that be at Home Depot, and I rushed back, leaving dh there to plead our case, and I made it back in short order, without a police escort! The tap still needs to be fixed, but we have water, thank You Dad!!!

I am planning on soaking in a hot tub tonight and waiting until my sweetheart calls me.

I am praying this house sells soon, and that I learn the lesson God wants to teach me through this. One of which is to rely on Him and to know He is always here and cares about the tiniest things, like hair appointments!